|Rapunzel, upon having
the fair maiden for forty days and forty nights, decides a change is about
him, and whilst recovering in the royal infirmary with the "bedpans which
were made warmer directly by the countenance of Gd," composed thru his
scribe these revisions to the King James:
"Iron sharpeneth iron;
so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend
in a bed with unwashed sheets from the days of Saul of Tarsus and the camels
which cried petrol."
"Faithful are the wounds
of a friend;
but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful not to mention garlicky, you Greek
bastard with your philosophy and open-flappy toga. Crazy bastard."
"Ointment and perfume
rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend
by hearty counsel. (This is compleatly gay enough; I have nothing more
to add. Your witness."
"A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”
“Now come, come, man
-- 'tis hot on the bus to Jerusalem and no telling who might shoot arrow
or stone through thine heart dur'n the journey simply to proclaim o'er
the stiff and undenying that, 'Yea, I hath taken and therefore am I God
in living act!'"
"And the LORD spake
unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend
while under the sheets playing 'Tent Sale 2001'."
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