[Note: Today's abecedarian offering continues a story that began last week with Words Beginning With the Letter A, Illustrated  By A Fanciful Tale About A Woman Named A. ]

Babberlipped, adj. With heavy protruding lips. Despite seeing through eyes smaller than pissholes in snow, smelling through a nose no more than an itty-bitty bump, and being a regularly equipped kid appendagewise, the soothsayers saw that the baby spawned by A. would one day be a colossal kisser, for the instant their eyes met his babberlipped mouth, it was as though all they saw were every kiss of their long lives returning at once to smack them silly.

Baduad, n. One who wastes his time expressing astonishment or in idle admiration of whatever he sees; a gossip; an idler. Among the sizzle-loined soothsayers was a bedraggled baduad, one of those false-prophet types so prominent in certain time/space coordinates, a high/mighty lady wizard who passes days blathering prattle, bantering chatter, blabbering gab, gibbering jabber, all the while fawning over pretty little tikes like A.'s bouncing baby B., proclaiming the inevitability of great fortune, probably found in a fabulous music career filled with champagne breakfasts in jacuzzis with flouncing floozies after all-night video shoots, occasional Emmys even, and in this way the bedraggled baduad bedazzled mothers, adding asides confided quietly about her predictions that had panned out, for example, how she once foresaw that little baby Bellerophon would, when he was all grown up, ride some white donkey bird thing into victorious battle against an imaginary beast, a chimera, but would perish if he ever tried to ride his aeronautically enabled ass to heaven, and that's exactly what happened to baby Bellerophon, bless his soul, so her word is like not to be taken lightly, cos if she say it like it's gone happen, you know it'll happen, why even doubt it, why you think she open her mouth if truth don't come out, bitch?

Baze, v. To stupefy; frighten. As though all this talk were a tidal wave crashing on the virgin beaches of little baby B.'s newly formed brain, he sobbed and blubbered, bazed in his bassinet, as the bawdy language cut jagged-edged dialogue bubbles across the late afternoon marketplace, all of it issuing from the smokestacking mouth of some potty-mouthed hag hanging around the bedraggled baduad as though her prognosticating discourse were all that and a bag of spicy blue corn chips.

Bdelatomy, n. The operation of cutting a leech while it is sucking to promote its suction of blood. A. was taking B. to the doctor for a routine application of leeches, when she noticed in the marketplace a fruit merchant offering melons that seemed well beyond the typical extreme of potential juiciness, so she bought one and immediately cut it open and sucked, and then, with melon juice streaming down her jaws like it'd just come in her face, she remembered to remind herself in the office to ask the doctor to perform a bdelatomy because it'd been all over the news that bleeding leeches sucked blood better than ones that were not.

Beattle, v. To make or render foolish.  So A. with her mouth and cheeks glazed with sticky melon juice, pushed little baby B. to the doctor, where, upon entering the office, she announced that she wanted her son's leeches sliced, and the attending nurses and secretaries cackled and beattled poor A., asking if she wanted these leeches to stay or to go.

Bezoar, n. (1) A concretion found in the stomach and intestines of ruminants and some other animals: often formed by lime or magnesium phosphate or the like about some foreign substance, and sometimes consisting entirely of hair or vegetable fiber; (2) An antidote or panacea. But that was the end of morning mirth, for the doctor quickly discovered that little baby B. suffered from a rare malady that could only be cured with a bezoar nugget, and so those beattling nurses took to the fields and stripped the entrails from cud-chewing beasts, all in a hope to find, somewhere in those miles and miles and miles of ropy viscera, a miracle cure.

Bhut, n. A spirit who has never had a body. All was lost, however, and yet, all was not: for little baby B., stricken as though the diagnosis were a very big knife in his tiny heart, died, and in that moment when B. gave up the ghost, a bhut wandering overhead, attracted by the intonation of his name by the bedraggled baduad, saw an opportunity to finally take physical form after eons of fluttering through the pages of mythology, and so, in an instant unbeknownst to all, little baby B. died and was reborn, possessed by the spirit of Bellerophon.

Bicessis, n. Twenty asses. For all those whose memories retain no residual trace of anything mentioned in the illustration of today's second word beginning with the letter B, Bellerophon was the one the bedraggled baduad claimed to have correctly pinned as the guy who'd one day slay a chimera upon a winged donkey bird, by which I assume she meant Pegasus, but who would fly too close to the sun and perish, as is always the case when mythological types try flying too close to the sun, and so however, little baby Bellerophon-addled B. grew to be a strapping adolescent, one who worked in the dusty fields far from the dense corridors of malls and malls and malls of commerce, and there he tended a flock of twenty donkeys, all of which he mounted, inciting them to soar away from his humble pasture, but not one of his bicessis once sprouted wings and flew.

Bisonance, n. The intrinsic inability of certain tones to blend or fuse; pure dissonance as distinguished from that due to a mixture of beats. When the spirit of a mythological figure, an avatar, enters the body of a young man who does nothing all day but lick his babberlips and whip the flies off his bicessis where their tails don't reach, a restlessness brews, one in which the physical life fails to harmonize with the spirit's memory, and so, this bisonance leads to unhappiness, and unhappiness leads to a longing for change, which is fulfilled one night when B. sneaks away on his favorite ass, heading for the city.

Bistournage, n. Castration by twisting the spermatic cord, producing atrophy of the testicles, but leaving the scrotum uncut. B. slowly clunked along trails through woods choked with vine-and-undergrowth webs, rode up and down the great blinding-white salt hills of the northern territory until he came to an easy river he followed to the five-lane highway that lead to the city, and there he and his ass were welcomed to ride on the open-air bed of a high-performance automobile from whence he saw cattails wave from atomic marshes, oil silos sunning like hedonistic warts, all the impossible intricacies of overpasses and gravity-defying bridges winding heavily to the city, like the veins of the earth excavated for travel, and as he approached the tunnel into the steaming geometry of the unreal city, he felt as though he were the victim of bistournage, his youthful bravaro vandalized by the intimidating vista, his genitals disappearing as though what stood before him had his manhood in a slowly corkscrewing vicegrip.

Bizzaria, n. A variety of orange believed to be a hybrid of the citron and the bitter orange. B. hopped to streetlevel and convinced a toothless girl who wanted to sell him favors to take his donkey in lieu of cash, wandered overwhelmed by the enormity of what was before him, the shuffling mosaic of color and pattern and movement, the vibrant interpenetrative force bouncing between the teeming masses and a dozen suns emblazing the scene in a vivid otherworldly light, and then he realized that he hadn't eaten in days so B. ducked into a bodega and his mouth fell open aghast at the unending options presented when it came to purchasing something to tame hunger and subdue thirst, and finally, after too long staring at tangerines, clementines, navels, and blood oranges, he decided to live it up and blow his wad on a few dozen bizzaria. 

Blackbottom, n. A solo dance accompanied by shaking and dipping movements and the slapping of the knees and thighs: said to have been from the negroes of the black bottomlands of the lower Mississippi Valley. Joyfully employing the full force of his babberlips to enhale his oranges, B. followed the gradual ascent of tight cobblestoned streets lined with well-guarded boutiques and elaborately designed storefront windows filled with curios of unknowable function, until he came upon a plaza in the middle of which was a fountain beside which were men who danced as small silver rectangles emitted strange rhythmic sounds with indecipherable words strewn upon them, and B. asked an old grizzled man grinning beside him what the dance was called, and he was told it was a little something they called the blackbottom rag, and whatever it was it made them seem as though they were right in the middle of doing it doggy style to some ferocious animal, despite being clothed and obviously unengaged in such activity. 

Bladdin, n. (1) The pelting of rain; (2) a maltreating.  Then, as though to censor their lewd gyrations, the heavens let loose a sea's worth of water upon the city at once, as though the swimming pool of the gods were suddenly capsized, and B. following the drenched masses running for cover, found himself soaked, dripping beneath the awning of a noisy pub as the neverending possibility the city held over all directions was reduced to the dry place behind him, thanks to the bladdin that skipwrecked an otherwise sunny day. 

Boanthropy, n. The mania of a man who imagines himself an ox. Many within the bar were drunken and they all offered bar napkins and their seats to all the men who came in from the rain, and B. who wandered in as well, more from fear of drowning than desire for drink, sat beside a giant man who excused himself in advance, explaining that although B. might not immediately notice, he suffers from a terrible case of boanthropy, and within minutes the man beside B. began snorting and huskily bullying patrons on his constant trips to the facilities, and B.'s spirit was reminded of a colleague's adventures with some minotaur somewhere in Crete or Mykonos; wait a second, what's the name of this bar, B. asked, and the bartender told him what it was, the Flamboyant Flipper, and before long it became clear to B. where he was and what sort of thing went on in the back rooms.

Bonaroba, n. A courtezan. It was there in the backrooms, where young B. was introduced to pleasures other than donkey asses, that he met a young bonaroba, a women who wasn't wearing a blouse but who concealed her breasts beneath a tantalizingly fluffy boa, and this woman, swooning after B. applied his colossal lips to hers, asked B. if he would like to accompany her to a place where they could find things to talk about once they finished working each other over.

Brachiation, v. The act or method of progressing through a forest by swinging by the arms from tree-branch to tree-branch, as monkeys. The place was her place and the working over was wonderful: without removing a stitch she'd already made young B. come as close to flying against the sun as he imagined he every would, and then when B. worked her hot pants off, he was surprised to see that the women with the breasts and the lips and everything obviously womanly about her, had a part to her that was hardly womanly, and once exposed to air it rose like a cobra and the bonaroba's face constricted and hollowed and her nose grew long and hooked like a giant crow's and her stomach seemed to burst into a six-pack of muscles and below it all was this swaying sight of thickly extended flesh, which sent B. through the window, onto the fire escape, up to the roof, where he ran along and jumped and swung from the omnipresent wires, block to block, twice as fast as last year's monkey that won the international brachiation races. 

Bussock, n. (1) A tuft of grass, as in a swamp; (2) a fat dumpy person; (3) a donkey.  B. continued with his frantic brachiation until he was deep within an area that seemed to mimic the natural world yet, in an almost perverse reversal of the way he knew things really were, seemed entirely enclosed by the city, and as he noticed this, he missed grabbing a branch and slipped, landing facefirst in a bussock, and looking around to see if anyone noticed, B. saw a bussock walking a bussock along a path.

Buzznacking, n. Gossipy talk; idle chatter. The bussock engaged B. in much buzznacking about his brachiation, how if he were a monkey he'd be an international champion eventually put out to stud etc, and B. asked the man about his bussock, where he'd found it etc, for it was surely the donkey he'd selected from among his bicessis to accompany him on his journey, and the dumpy little man told B. he'd received it from a toothless bonaroba who felt guilt for beattling him about his stumpy thingy and that if it had once been B.'s, it could be again, and B. took the man up on the offer, and pushing him into the swampy waters off the path, B. mounted his donkey and galloped uptown. 

Byspel, n. (1) A prodigy; (2) a worthless fellow; (3) a proverb. In the upper reaches of the natural-seeming expanse within the center of the city, B. put his bussock to work, letting little children ride the donkey for a dollar, and before long he amassed enough cash to have an experimental surgeon attach long wings the boanthropic fellow who'd become his friend fashioned out of pigeon feathers and roadkill, and then one day, while gainful meanderers thought young B. just another byspel busking with his bussock in the park, B. mounted his favorite burro and kicked his heels into its ribs and its wings unfolded and flapped and soon enough they were soaring and gliding over the city, with the sea to one side and a continent to the other, and they soared and glided and soared and glided, a growing boy and his favorite donkey chasing their fortune, flying straight into the setting sun, with no plans to land until it rose again behind them.

Words Beginning With the Letter A, Illustrated 
By A Fanciful Tale About A Woman Named A.


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