submit or we will release jesus from the graffiti and he will turn you into a snake if you're a staff or a tower of salt if you like salt
Announcer: "As part of our continuing Culture Series, KAOS-AM is pleased to present an interview conducted by world-renowned religious scholar, Dr. Charles Thearborn Brighton."

"Thank you. I am C.T. Drighton, joined in our Toronto studios with a most remarkable personage, known throughout the world as Devil, Satan, Gog, the White Serpent, He-Who-Has-No-Name, Mephistopheles, Dagon, Beelzebub, and Vic.

"I would like to move right into the debate about the nature of evil. Now, as Kirkegarde writes, evil is humankind’s failure to realize its teleological promise—"

"Fuck you."

"Ah, excuse—Maybe I should rephrase that. The question of ‘What is evil?’ has plagued man since time began. Now, as Heinric Gustafson writes, evil is a turning from—"

"Lick my runny asshole."

"Well now... I—uh ...Well, maybe we should begin simply with the idea of an Afterlife. There are countless theories regarding what becomes of a person’s inner energy, chi, or soul—"

"Suck me off."

"Please allow me to finish. Now, the Mendelson theory—"

"Your mother’s a whore."

"—there is a moment when the inner essence—"

"Your grandmother’s a whore!"

"—moves into a void, an actual place in space where—"

"A whore!" 

"Now wait a moment, I haven’t finished... And in this void—"


Station break.

Please realize that Matthew St. Amand is both a Canadian and an Ordained Minister available to eulogize upon weddings for a modest fee in Michigan and Ontario. So if you're thinking about getting married and you live in either of these places, please consider buying Minister Matthew St. Amand's services. This is real.

[Forever after at


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the inaugural issue of the land-grant college review
is available for internet purchasing - it's very nice-looking,
and includes an interview with an eyeshot contributor
that's primarily about this guy