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THIS STORY WILL NOT MAKE A GOOD MOVIE
BY TWINKER THE TWITHEAD


This story will not make a good movie. Of this we can be sure. We wish it would. Maybe if it were a better story. 

But even now, at its very beginning, with almost all of it except the few lines ahead, or I mean, behind -- almost all of it ahead except for the few lines behind -- I know, and now you know, that this sort of thing will not make a good movie

Q: Let's try that again, shall we?
A: Agreed.

This story will not make a good movie. Of this we can be sure. Maybe if it were based on a better story, something everyone recognized, something we could call provocatively intriging and compelling: riveting! 

Maybe then, maybe. 

Or even better: what if this story, conforming to traditional narrative structures with set pieces and characterization and dialogue and twists of tongue and plot -- you get the picture -- what if, despite not being much on formal invention, provided enough descriptive images to make a movie? It wouldn't make much of a story, just a good movie. 

The movie better than the story. The story better than the writer.

Q: Let's try that again, ok?
A: Agreed.

This story will not make a good movie. Why? Because the story can not be better than the one who's written it. Too bad for all those moviegoers and moguls and actors looking for a break, this story will not make a good movie because it can't be better than he from whence it came. 

See? 

He from whence it came

Exhibit A -- A fine indication what we're talking about here ain't just jive talk. Again: ain't just jive talk? Whistling dixie? Mumbo jumbo

Let's stop this line of reasoning before we decay into suppurating rubble. If we continue, we'd be in danger of decaying and making the rubble suppurate, which means to pus or to bubble over like champagne, with pus. We would follow that line of reasoning, celebrating, mixing with the rubble, turning it all to pus. 

This story will not make a movie at all, of any sort, good or bad. 

In fact, this story will not even make a good story. It won't have any tightness and it won't be florid enough or distilled enough to call itself a prose poem. Does it even justify the price of the pen and paper originally used to write it? 

Even putting it online, with all the computer equipment and hosting fees on our end and Internet service providing on the readers' end: is this worth it?

This thing's better off read at a distance of 15 feet, then maybe zoom in slowly to five feet, but never close enough so the words can be read clearly. Then it would make a good movie. 

Walk as far away from the screen as you can. 

Do it now. 

Then have a look. 
 

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