PLEASE DO WHAT YOU CAN DO TO
Many of you, particularly those who
visited sometime this week, already know what went down.
On the surface it seemed peaceful.
Silent. Tranquil. Shhhh. Peaceful.
And maybe even exciting, as far as such things can seem exciting.
You came to Eyeshot sometime this
week and your monitor screen, as always, contained a work of words seen
scrolling beneath a smooth and serene square of glass.
What we've had up this past week,
however, would be better off corralled by a restless polygon, a tumbling
trapezoid -- only some churning rebel of geometry could provide a suitable
Know what I'm sayin'?
OK. Fine . . . What we mean to say
is this: "What we've had up lately merits a mass mailing devoted solely
to it. What we've had up requires something viral, something sprawling
internationally across all confines and demarcations. Something that'll
rumple the screen's smoothness from the world's masses wandering in and
trampling all over it. Make it all ribbed and buckled and oddly shaped
and splayed with everything all akimbo and shit, exactly how we like it."
Still not sure what we're sayin'?
Ok. Fine. We should try to be clearer
. . . What we mean to say is: "We have been told that large-circulation
print publications would probably exchange money for the opportunity to
run the work in question. The author, however, decided to give this piece,
entitled On the Road: American
Writers & Their Hair, to Eyeshot's Humble Hindenburg Complex, a
resource kept aloft/afloat on $15 per month. In return, she only asked
we link the piece to reviews and other resources about the writers she
met on her recent American book tour. We thank her, publicly in this manner,
by asking you to forward the message you're reading to everyone you think
might want to check out something that's (1) funny, (2) free, (3) and written
by a hot British chick. Instead of appearing between the covers of some
glossy object available for about $3.50 on American newsstands for no more
than a month, everyone in the world can see this piece for free, for as
long as Eyeshot stays alive, which should be forever, or as long as we
can scrape together $15 a month. Please do what you can do to help us throw
thankful flowers at her generosity . . . That's what we were trying to
Clearly presented summary of unclear
1. Eyeshot has something good for
you and yours, thanks to the generosity of a hot British writer chick.
2. To thank her, we're asking spam
receivers to forward this message to all suitable reading-type people.
3. In this way, when she asks - "So,
uh, how many people read my piece anyway?" - we will not be embarrassed
or compelled to lie.
4. If you want to send a link to
people instead of simply forwarding this unnecessarily long-winded message,
the link is http://eyeshot.net/zadiesmith.html.
5. Thank you -- and apologies to
people pissed off by this message.