kuma says submit
DISPOSITION
BY DARREN HIGGINS
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Some are ready immediately and others take acclimatizing. Money helps. Sex helps. The mere hint—threat alone (read: innuendo) will do the job. Because then things get limbic, and you hit the sweats, the shakes, the eye-rolling, the scattershot laughter. Just thinking of it. 

The question: to immerse? Or: to flee? A slap on the shoulder-blades can go a long way. A firm grab of the buttocks. Surprising the confidence instilled, or, at least, the fear forgotten. Transitory. And, of course, illusory. So hold your breath. Five minutes. Six. 

Heat is a negative for many of our clients. This is a matter of disposition. Skin flushes, fine, but skin burns too. The burning separates joiners from litigants. As in: Responsibility? Choice? Entrapment? 

Twenty years of success. We stand by our methods. Congressional oversight is a phantom lurking nowhere. All in the mind. A bad bedtime story. Nothing more. Listen to this: peripheral sight loss is temporary. Three weeks, tops. And finger nails grow back. You get what you give. Do you want it? Then give it.

The first blackout, admittedly, will scare off a decent percentage. But then again, guys come back and say Hey, I liked that—I do it recreationally now. And it’s not that we encourage recreational whatever, it’s that we’re dealing with the human animal. Picky, pesky, heterodox. Why deprive one person of potential pleasure simply to ensure a beige comfort for the totality? That’s a recipe for anarchy and paltry returns.

There were raids. Some misplaced items. Yes. Bodies. Right. A filing problem, subsequently corrected. That was years ago. Pristine record since. Check it out. Our watchword, since ’94: transparency.

The sex is an inducement. We stock many. Inducements. Sex works. Whisper something about nudity and the gears start turning and decisions get easier. It’s a lubricant, if you will. What happens next is up to the client. We stay out of it. We’re about environment, atmosphere. Procurement is somebody else’s job.

Steam will bubble your eyes. No doubt. Tiny blips. Nodules. No sense in pussyfooting around. If you have second thoughts, feel free. You can get 40% of your initial deposit back. Act now, though. The thing’s starting. 

You’ll see guys get the curly fingers. You’ll see the eyebrows peel, or toes get all clenched, calcified. You’ll see hair grow back, not always where you want it. There’s a chance for some serious muscle-toning. And for weight gain, of freakish proportion. At times. Irrespective, though, of all other variables, you are guaranteed to be less shy at social gatherings. Guaranteed. 

Nipple-size, a turn-on. For you, no saying. Two. Three inches? Maybe. But it will be significant. Your calendar will be full. Absolutely. Sign here.

Staphylococcus. Shock (multifarious). Shin splints. Bum knee. Fistulated what-have-you. The squints. Tooth/gum decay. Liquid-bowel. Hispid palms. Brushes with E coli. Legionnaire’s Disease. Envy.

Keep a good attitude. More than money, more than sex, this is what matters. An erection detumesces, a bank account drains. But attitude is forever. You come in here thinking astounding thoughts, then you will leave with thoughts ever-more astounding. But you arrive with a bent back and flubby knees, then there is no escaping the beating that you surely deserve and are, basically, begging us to dispense.

I recommend immersion. Fleeing will only lead to a hunt and you better believe we are fleet so let’s not leave that option on the table. Immersion’s your ticket. There are those who welcome compression, the wrecking yard stint, the barber shop. These are the people we want. Intrepid souls unafraid of blood loss. People who’ll just jump in there and think about it, if ever, later.

Fractures, of all kinds. Gnawing paranoia. Prayerfulness. 

Fifteen fines over two decades rests languorously far from “endemic fraud” sipping cool, pulpy drinks through a long twisty straw. 

When you speak again it will be with a more agile tongue. Your words will be sprightly, right, unassailable. The heat gets to it. The tongue swells. The teeth flake. But oh it goes down smooth. So hold on. Choke up the badness for the next twenty to twenty-five minutes, but keep your eyes open, focus on your future voice. I’m telling you, you’re perfect for us. You can’t quit now.
 

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