THE OTHER LEE KLEIN
|Where are you located?
NYC Upper West Side at times Westchester, NY (where I do not get invited to the exclusive Neuberger Museum's opening galas because my mother's business partner physically threatened me despite the fact I am twice the size he is) and as many places as I can possibly be: including in motion (Las Vegas NV - Washington DC - Providence RI - Easton PA - Atlantic City NJ - and with less frequency - Europe - Asia – Oceania, as of late).
How far will you roam for literary-related excitement?
Anywhere ... though I don't have the budget for a polar expedition: yet.
What are you working on?
I am working on rewriting my World's Biggest Shopping Mall Poem integrating what I have learned from reading the subsequent Harvard Design School Guide to Shopping (which I will also be taking on in an essay for PAJ (MIT Press) putting it together with my Shopping Town Down Under and The Turkish Shopping Mall Poem and issuing a grand compendium. On the novel side (which I haven't been so successful with as of yet) I will be traveling to Italy to watch a famous event then take it into the future for fictional purposes. I plan to travel to Las Vegas to investigate the Koolhaas Guggenheims for my previously alluded to essay, The Lee Klein Guide to the Harvard Design School Guide to Shopping: Rem Koolhaas, Prada, and the Las Vegas Guggenheim's in the Age of Excess Post Haste (with Frank Gehry/Issey Miyake and Jean Paul Gautlier/Phillipe Starck collaborations possibly thrown in for good measure). I am of course always writing art criticism. This month I will be penning "Nonsense in Retrograde" which will include the appropriation of palindromes in this palindromic annum by post-ABBA Abba members and the artist Ed Ruscha as well as brunch specials which incorporate $20.02 specials (you can read my art writings here) and a forthcoming piece for Italy on Helen Frankenthaler. Plus right now I am on a five-epic-poem-a-year production schedule. I am simacularizing Port Chester NY, and Easton PA, with an eye on Ocean Grove NJ, a poem in the offing which might be shut down due to the aggressive passive aggressive aggressive behavior of one its prominent fusionists.
This all because some society member edititrix in Washington said my poetry was not experimental. So I thought (maybe delusionally) that “The Shopping Mall Poem” had something to do with Williams and Olson, and naturally I knew it had something to do with Pound. The painter Brian Gormley and I are going to do a book together working in concert with his father, Ed. The senior Mr. Gormley is not only a playwright but has a small press. Brian has picked a book with illustrations by Andre Masson to serve as our model.
What's your font?
I never really thought about it until I sent out a very colorful e-mail with poetry in hue. I spend most of my time concerned with font, hitting the format button or the font bar and dragging it back to the standard settings
What font turns you on?
I can't say that fonts are founts of allure.
Which do you enjoy more: having sex or reading about people having sex?
I am bad at writing about sex as I think most people are, besides those old letters in Penthouse Forum. I think most authors should refrain form writing about sex because they can't, especially you dime store sado-masochists.
What do you like to read aloud to the person lying post-coitally beside you?
By the time I would get to that point most people have left me.
Is the proverbial stack of books beside your bed actually stacked there for that precise purpose?
I have Byron besides my bed as well as Tom Wolfe's A Man in Full, which, despite its present location, I have no desire to finish. I read mostly at Barnes & Noble which is practically next door.
If you could take to bed any author (living or dead), who would that author be?
I will channel Byron for that question: the Shelley's both of them, and now I am feeling nostalgic for Susan Scutti and the smell of fresh bread on Prince street once again.
If you could take to bed any fictional character, which character would that be?
I don't know Ben-Hur, Orlando, Lestat leftovers - you tell me?
If you could sexually satisfy yourself with a book, which book would that be?
Maybe one by William S. Burroughs, but that could prove fatal couldn't it?
Which author do you most resemble, physically, emotionally, psychologically?
I like to think Byron and not Hal Sirowitz, but you never know.
Do you refuse to see the movie until you've read the book?
No, I'm versatile.
Do you still remember the page number you folded over in Judy Blume's "Forever?"
I was never stupid enough to succumb to reading Judy Blume, though Tom Savage met her on the train.
Please submit both a good-sex sex sentence and a bad-sex sex sentence of your own composition. Please indicate which is which.
I looked good enough in the mirror to look good enough for someone else. So I forgot myself for the evening and had a one night stand finally remembering my previous self by dawn. (good)
She heard I was a gigolo and threw herself upon me, tackling me on the fly like a hurtling devil, and I succumbed. (bad)
Do signed first editions arouse you inexplicably?
Does "submitting" to literary journals/websites have its sexual side?
I try not to submit (except to Eyeshot) and dime store sado-masochism.
What books have you read while entertaining the near-constant thought "Would I sleep with this writer?"
I think none. Brett Eaton Ellis gave me his phone number but I couldn't read his work for the life of me. The only books where I think such thoughts are adventure books.
Do you wait for your partner to get up to use the bathroom before you write down the things he/she said to you while having sex or do you whip out the notebook while he/she is still panting in the bed beside you?
Doesn't happen. By the time it is time for them to talk about Remembrance of Things Past for a second time the fling is only a remembrance of a thing past, remembrance of a thing fast, remember a thing fast.
Or do you keep a tape recorder beside the bed for just such a purpose?
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